Posted by: quoththesparrow | April 21, 2016

Oddball Bob and the Very Starey Staircase

Oddball Bob

Oddball Bob hobbled up to the decrepit parking structure. He found the stairs and, grabbing his right leg with his left hand, slung it to the first step. Twisting carefully, he hopped a couple of times, then heaved his other leg up. Bob repeated this process all the way up the stairs.

At the top he scanned the expanse of cars of various sizes and colors of the rainbow. It took Bob a while to do this because of his stiff neck. His head only turned in jerky motions. Finally, there it was, the cobalt Chevy coupe. Bob tilted his head slightly so his lazy eye turned to meet the other and he could see it fully and be absolutely sure.

A rapid grunting emitted from Bob’s lips and he hobbled over to the car. There, he waited stealthily. If you call standing directly in front of the car with the streetlamp boldly shining on him stealthy.

People started coming to their cars and driving away. Soon, there were only three cars left, including the one Bob was standing in front of.

Sometime later a young man came walking toward the car Bob was standing in front of. When the young man was a foot away, Bob yelled, “Ha!”

The young man stopped, and sighed. “Hi, Bob.”

“I didn’t scare you?”

“Dude, I saw you all the way from the stairs.”


“What do you want?”

Bob started grunting again.

The young man groaned. “Ugh, I hate it when you laugh.”

“I’m gonna get you!” Bob exclaimed, then shuffled forward, jerking his arms until they were out straight.

“Really. Okay, I’m gonna get in my car. I’ll probably be gone by the time you get to the driver’s side.”

Bob growled. Well, it was more like, “Yaaaaarrr!”

The young man sighed again, this time frustrated. “Bob, what do you want?”

“Youuu, youuu toook my pen!”

The young man laughed loudly.

Bob yaaaaarrred again. “That’s not funny!”

“Yes it is! You came all the way here, stood waiting for me for however many hours, all for a pen.”

Reaching into his pocket, the young man pulled out a chewed up Bic pen. Casually, he walked over to Bob and placed the pen in Bob’s shirt pocket, then patted him.

“There ya go, buddy. Hey, have a good night and don’t get yourself in too much trouble.” The young man winked while simultaneously snapping his fingers, then pointing at Bob. Then quickly he was in his car and drove away.

Bob stood there for another five or ten minutes.

“Oh, well, I guess I’ll go back now.”

And with that, Bob hobbled back toward the stairs.


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